Every Minute Matters

When parent-time is limited, every minute does matter.  One practice I have noticed is that the goodbyes are taking a long time when the child is being picked up.  This cuts into the other parent's time.  Goodbyes should be short and simple because the child is returning at the end of parent-time.  Curb side pickups may be the best solution.http://www.drewlawcenter.com

Denial of Parent-Time

It is absolutely frustrating when you are prepared to pick-up your child and your ex simply is not that or will not let you seem them.  Police departments are sketchy at best on their enforcement of parent-time.  Sometimes the police will do nothing and other times they will do everything they can to enforce the parent-time set forth in the Decree.  It really is hit or miss, and this can be frustrating.  While there are laws to be enforced for denial of parent-time, they rarely are.  Moreover, prosecutors often do not pursue such cases.  The solution is an expedited hearing (48 hours) so that make-up time (if warranted) can be had. This is the most economical and efficient solution.

Child Custody Issues

It is tough not to let your post divorce relationship with your ex-spouse be the same as your married relationship.  Forging a new relationship is difficult, but it is essential to having your child(ren) understanding the new order of things.  Child custody laws are often made as default provisions and should only be relied upon as a secondary plan when all else fails.  Only the parents have complete control to determining what this child custody relationship will be.  I have often been amazed to find out that the parents of one of my kid's friends are divorced.  This is because there is no tension between them and they are both working together for the benefit of the child(ren).  In front of me (and the child(ren)), they keep things on a positive level rather than rehash their old relationship.   Only when one parent does not play nice should a child custody attorney be brought in to let the other parent know that such behavior will not be tolerated.  Unfortunately, in these situations, the law takes over and the parent's lose some of their control over developing that new relationship.  This can lead to further frustration.        

Child Custody Issues

Over the years I have noticed a trend that disturbs me in divorce matters.  Many times custody battles are based more on what is in the best financial interest and not the best interest of the child.  It is one thing to fight for more time with your children in a divorce or paternity case because you want to spend time with them.  That I applaud.  However, when trying to get joint custody solely to avoid or reduce child support, that is a disturbing trend.  Civility, commons sense and good lawyering can hopefully get pat this disturbing trend. 

Freedom and the Law

Today is a great day to reflect on how the law can impede freedoms as well as create freedoms.  The difference is in who is making the laws.  That is why we should all take our civic responsibilities seriously and be involved not matter how futile it seems at first.  Remember the greatest changes begin with individuals making decisions not to take it any more.  Today is a good day to remember that!

Divorce and Child Custody

What do you do when your ex does not parent the way you want them to?  The initial step should be communicating with your ex, but if the divorce is still to fresh or the rift to wide, this is not the solution.  Usually, a parent files a motion for an order to show cause why the other parent should not be held in contempt for not following the parent plan (which should be part of the Decree).  This in turn requires mediation and a hearing before the court.  If the matter is minor, the penalty is usually simply a stern warning from the court to knock it off and act like a responsible parent.  The offending party, however, usually does get the message because a continuation of behavior could lead to serious consequences with the court.  Thus, even if you are not sure you that the court will find your ex in contempt, this may be the only way to let them know you are serious about their bad behavior. 

Why can't we all just get along --post divorce that is!

Divorce is tough enough, but post-divorce is even tougher!  When you are married there are certain parenting issues that you are willing to overcome.  However, after the divorce, parents often will not let those thing slide.  The tough part is keeping their displeasure from the children.  I wonder what would happen if a Court could impose a small monetary fine each time a person speaks ill of the former spouse (except in court proceedings)?  It would make post-divorce more like being a professional athlete who can be fined for verbal indiscretions.  Would this derail the bad-mouthing parent?

Till Death Do You Part

Blended families make planning issues harder and require sensitivity and skill to avoid what could be a life defining dispute.  How do you tell your new other that you love them, but do not want their kids to get any of your stuff when you pass?  How do you tell your new other that you also want to make sure that they have no control over the stuff you want to leave to "your family"?  These are tough questions that require professionalism and understanding by all the parties to make the estate plan work.   

New Year Resolutions

Now that we have made our resolutions, we must do the tough part -- keep them.  Last year I decided not to set any goals to see if it made a difference.  I discovered that it really did.  When there is a purpose, there seems to be a way to achieve that purpose.  I have noticed over the last couple of days a renewed energy from setting my resolutions.  I have also noticed a pang of guilt when I do something that is not in line with them.  That is the joy of a making a resolution.