Divorce Alternatives

Divorce Alternatives

When contemplating a divorce, there are several legal alternatives to consider if you are not sure you want to go through with the divorce.  You may consider a post-martial agreement between you and your spouse or a legal separation to protect yourself whilst you contemplate the future of your marriage.

A post-marital agreement is an agreement between the parties that effectively can reset the clock in your marriage.  If there are issues that are driving you part such as finances, child care, or even household responsibilities, a post-marital agreement can include a joint resolution to these issues.  Typically, a post-marital agreement has significance when there is an inheritance by one of the parties and they do not want the inheritance to become part of the marital estate.  Rather than going through the process of maintaining separate accounts and accounting for marital versus separate funds, a post-marital agreement can spell out that such funds are separate property as well as anything purchased with such funds.  This relieves you of a tremendous burden in your finances.

Legal separation allows you to create a date of separation and establish the rules between the parties during the separation.  To make a legal separation binding, you file a petition with the Court and the court will establish temporary orders during the period of the legal separation.  Thus, if you have children, custody and visitation orders will be put in place.  Likewise, child support and alimony can also be established through the legal separation process.  The orders stay in place for one year unless a divorce petition is filed or you dismiss the legal separation petition.  Creditors are also put on notice that each spouse is responsible for their respective debts after the date of separation.  That is a critical factor.

In short, divorce may not always be the solution, but you will want to protect yourself legally while you are trying to work out the issues before you decide.

If you want more information please contact andrew@gillilandlaw.com

How to Divorce --Mediation Tips

Mediation Tips

Mediation is the best opportunity for divorcing couples to try and resolve their issues before a judge takes over.  Mediation is also a way divorcing couples can save money as trial preparation and trials are costly and time consuming.   Generally, the parties will meet either a neutral site such as the mediator’s office or if they are represented by legal counsel at one of the attorney’s office.  Mediation is not binding unless the parties come to an agreement and sign such agreement.  Below are several things to consider when going to mediation.

1.            Choose the right mediator:  The selection of the right mediator can be critical to coming to a resolution.  Mediators have difference styles and you want to make sure the mediator’s style meets your needs.  For instance, some mediators focus more on feelings and resolution rather than on the dollars and cents of the case.  Other mediator’s are aggressive and push parties towards settlement or point out the weaknesses in each party’s case.

2.            Come prepared:  You need to know the issues that need to be resolved and what your ideal resolution is for each one.  You also need to know where your gives are.  I would recommend listing the issues out with your proposed resolution for each one.  You will also want to bring credit card statements, bank statements, retirement account statements, etc. so that you can have the actual numbers in front of you.

3.            Make sure you know what you are signing:  Too often I have divorced parties come to me complaining that their prior lawyer forced them into a settlement at the mediation.  The claim is often made that they did not understand what they were agreeing to.  Take the time to make sure you know what the agreement is before you sign.  If you are not sure, don’t sign.

4.            Be ready to deal:  It is rare that anyone gets exactly what they want from mediation. 

9 Post-Divorce Parenting Suggestions

NINE SUGGESTIONS TO MAKE YOU A BETTER POST-DIVORCE PARENT

1.      Be on time and use all of your time.  You should not pick up your children late or return them early.  They know and can tell when they are being shorted!

2.      Become an expert on the subject of parenting and post divorce issues a child might have.  Knowing how to deal with typical post divorce issues can help you make the most of your time and help them develop in a safe environment. 

3.      Stay or become involved in your children’s activities.  Get to know their friends and their teachers, group leaders, or other role models.  Attend school and extracurricular activities or let them know beforehand if an issue arises and you cannot attend.  Ask them how the activity went.

4.      Reach out to others and use support groups to express you concerns, frustrations, and triumphs.  Helpful suggestions often come from those with more experience. 

5.      Create a parenting-plan on how you will care for and provide guidance for your children.  You should know their schedules and routines as well as your ex-spouse’s schedule.  Consistency and minimizing surprises can be helpful to you and your children’s relationships.  Having a plan makes the time more valuable.

6.      Research and evaluate the schools near you and near your ex-spouse.  Know the school schedule as well as the transportation schedule.   

7.      Keep your home child friendly with adequate room, privacy, and safety.  Make sure you make adjustments as the children get older and have different needs.

8.      Develop common interests with your children (even if you do not really like the activity).  Become part of their lives and share them with them.   

9.      Know and understand your child’s medical needs and health records.  Go to check-ups and visits.  Pay attention to the development of your child and ask questions.   

Utah Parent-time

Parent-time – Holidays

The Utah legislature established a default provision for time sharing over the holidays.  The arrangement is based on one party being designated as the “custodial parent” and one party as the “non-custodial parent.”  This is the case even if the parties are sharing joint physical custody.  The holiday parent time is found in Utah Code §30-3-35 for children over the age of 5 years and Utah Code §30-3-35.5 for children under the age of five years.  The following schedule applies to the non-custodial parent for children over 5 years of age:

Odd Number Years	Even Number Years
Child's Birthday on the day before or after the actual birthdate beginning at 3 p.m. until 9 p.m.	Child's Birthday on actual birthdate beginning at 3 p.m. until 9 p.m.
Martin Luther King, Jr. beginning 6 p.m. on Friday until Monday at 7 p.m. unless the holiday extends for a lengthier period of time to which the noncustodial parent is completely entitled;	President's Day beginning at 6 p.m. on Friday until 7 p.m. on Monday unless the holiday extends for a lengthier period of time to which the noncustodial parent is completely entitled;
Spring Break beginning at 6 p.m. on the day school lets out for the holiday until 7 p.m. on the Sunday before school resumes	Memorial Day beginning at 6 p.m. on Friday until Monday at 7 p.m., unless the holiday extends for a lengthier period of time to which the noncustodial parent is completely entitled
July 4 beginning 6 p.m. the day before the holiday until 11 p.m. or no later than 6 p.m. on the day following the holiday, at the option of the parent exercising the holiday	July 24 beginning at 6 p.m. on the day before the holiday until 11 p.m. or no later than 6 p.m. on the day following the holiday, at the option of the parent exercising the holiday
Labor Day beginning 6 p.m. on Friday until Monday at 7 p.m., unless the holiday extends for a lengthier period of time to which the noncustodial parent is completely entitled	Columbus Day beginning at 6 p.m. the day before the holiday until 7 p.m. on the holiday
Fall School Break, if applicable, commonly known as U.E.A. weekend beginning at 6 p.m. on Wednesday until Sunday at 7 p.m. unless the holiday extends for a lengthier period of time to which the noncustodial parent is completely entitled	Halloween October 31 or the day Halloween is traditionally celebrated in the local community from after school until 9 p.m. if on a school day, or from 4 p.m. until 9 p.m.
Veteran's Day beginning 6 p.m. the day before the holiday until 7 p.m. on the holiday.	Thanksgiving beginning Wednesday at 7 p.m. until Sunday at 7 p.m.
Christmas Break the first portion including Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, continuing until 1 p.m. on the day halfway through the holiday period, if there are an odd number of days for the holiday period, or until 7 p.m. if there are an even number of days for the holiday period, so long as the entire holiday period is equally divided.	Christmas Break the second portion of the Christmas school vacation as defined in Subsection 30-3-32(3)(b), beginning 1 p.m. on the day halfway through the holiday period, if there are an odd number of days for the holiday period, or at 7 p.m. if there are an even number of days for the holiday period, so long as the entire Christmas holiday period is equally divided.

            Father’s Day is spent with the father from 9:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. and Mother’s Day is spent with the mother from 9:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m.  

            Finally, during the summer the non-custodial parent has up to four consecutive weeks at his/her option (but not holidays) with two weeks being uninterrupted time and the other two weeks subject to parent-time for the custodial parent for weekday parent-time.  The custodial parent also gets an identical two-week period of uninterrupted time.