I want a divorce!

I want a divorce so now what?

                You have reached the point where is seems that there is no longer any reason to stay married.  The good news is that Utah law does not require both parties to agree on a divorce.  You are free to file divorce papers at any time.  So when you’re ready – and only when you’re ready – you start with the divorce petition.

                While important to your Utah legislators (and less important in actual practice for your divorce), the “official” reasons for divorce have been put in writing in the Utah Code (where all laws passed by the legislators end up).  Two are sexual in nature: impotency at time of marriage (a wedding night surprise!) and adultery.   The other reasons are based on the other spouse simply being a bad person: purposefully leaving you, failing to take care of you, being convicted of a felony (a felony charge won’t do the trick apparently), cruel treatment leading to physical injury or great mental distress.  Finally, the third group focuses on causes that neither party could control:  incurable insanity and irreconcilable differences. 

                “Irreconcilable differences” is the catchall that allows you to divorce when all of the other reasons don’t apply.  It is Utah’s way to phrase the popular divorce phrase “no fault divorce” that we are all so familiar with over the years. 

                Simply put, you can pretty much get divorced for any reason.  What this means in practice is that your divorce does not need to be a mudslinging public battle between you and your spouse.  That does not mean that mud cannot be slung if it helps your case, but it is unlikely that a judge is going to care if your spouse likes to masturbate or keeps the house a mess.  Now if they are masturbating in front of the kids and a child has been injured because of the unsafe condition of the house, these bits of mud should be slung. 

                Okay, so you qualify for a divorce and want to start.  What do you do? The easy and self-serving answer is that you call my office at (801) 871-2240 and make an appointment, but that is not what this is about.  I am writing to help you understand the divorce process before you contact an attorney. 

                A divorce starts with the filing of a divorce petition.  A divorce petition lets the court know what you are asking for in your divorce.  The petition can be detailed or it can contain only the basic required information (more will be discussed on this later).  A petition is filed in the county where either you or your spouse has lived in for at least 90 consecutive days before the date the petition is filed.  This is a fairly strict rule so you will want to make sure the count is correct.   In fact, you are required to tell the court in the divorce petition that either you or your spouse has lived in the county for at least 90 days.  If you are wrong, your spouse can ask the court to move the case to the correct county and the court will usually do this.  This just leads to delay and you typically gain nothing by doing this.

                At a minimum your divorce petition should generally state the following:

·                     you and your spouse’s names

·                     your children’s initials and birth year

·                     your county of residence

·                     the type of custody you want for your child(ren) (more on this later)

·                     that you want child support.

·                     your desire for alimony for yourself or for your spouse (meaning no alimony for your spouse)

·                     how you want the assets divided

·                     how you want the debt divided

·                     who should be responsible for medical insurance if there are children

·                     any other special provisions that are unique to your situation

                When your petition is complete you file it with the district court in the county where you or your spouse lives (if you live in different counties).  You will need to travel to the court and file it in person.  The court clerks at the counters tend to be helpful if you are filing it yourself.  If you use a lawyer, whey will file it online.  The address for your district court can be found at http://www.utcourts.gov/directory/.  You will want to bring 2 copies of each document you file and ask the court clerk to file stamp your copies, which you will take with you. 

I Want Full Custody

     Every parent wants full custody of their child or children.  This makes sense.  It is what you are used to.  You come home and the child is there.  Divorce changes all of that.  Suddenly your time is governed by the legislature or a judge.  There is a piece of paper that you have to follow.  If you get the statutory minimum in Utah you are stuck with every other weekend and a three hour visit during the week.  Yea! What can you really do in 3 hours?  Also, what kid wants to be uprooted from their friends to spend the only free time they have during the school year with their mom or dad?  This is especially hard when the child is a teenager and not able to drive.  

      When going through a divorce, you should set aside your feelings of dislike, distrust, or even hate for your soon to be ex (and this is not easy or may even be impossible), and determine what situation works for the well being of your children.  If your ex is a loser who has never really paid much attention to your children, then absolutely you should have full custody.  If your soon to be ex is a loving caring parent, then there is no reason to exclude him/her out of the parenting equation or relegate them to "Disneyland" parent status by grabbing for full custody.  Before digging your heels into the litigation, you should analyze your concerns and desire for full custody.     

     If you would like more information or want to discuss your child custody issue, please contact me at (801) 871-2240.

A Major Mistake in a Divorce

A strategy often used in a divorce is to withhold finances to the other party by either draining the bank accounts or simply not having funds deposited in the accounts.  Another tactic is to not pay utilities or credit cards so that third party creditors can then harass your soon to be ex-spouse.  Then when the moment is right, they dangle a settlement in front of the other person as a means to solve their financial problems.  I have even seen lawyers draft such stipulations and give them to their clients to give to their soon to be ex-spouse because they cannot directly contact the other party if they are represented by legal counsel.

Agreeing to and signing such "shotgun" settlements is a major mistake.  These settlements usually contain harsh terms that virtually give away rights that the other party would not have.  Even if you are not represented by a lawyer, you will want a lawyer to review any document you sign.  Remember that your soon to be ex-spouse is not looking out for your best interest.

For more information, go to www.attorneydrew.com