Do I Have to go to Mediation?

Do I have to go to mediation?

                Yes, even if you think there is no possibility of having success.  Utah requires mediation for divorces where the parties do not agree (which is most divorces).  I am a big fan of mediation because it is your opportunity to try and resolve the divorce without leaving it up to a judge.  No one knows your situation as much as you and your spouse.  Unfortunately, trials are not about necessarily about justice or the truth.  They are often about what evidence you have and what the judge will allow to be in the court room.  I always say that you are rolling the dice when you go to trial because the judge will make a final decision and you are left to deal with it.  The final decision could be something that neither of you likes and that does not work for your life situation.  This can be very frustrating. 

                Who selects the mediator?  In a perfect world you and your spouse will agree upon a mediator. This should be simple as most mediators are the same.  Some mediators are better than others simply because they work well with certain types of personalities.  If you are looking for a mediator, you will want to call him/her and ask some questions.  I will warn you that this is not easy to do as most mediators are busy and do not like to talk to one side in any great details.  I personally have mediators that I will work with and then others that I do not like to.  My opinion is based on whether or not I can settle a case with them.  Some mediators are very good at working the parties so that a resolution can be had.  Others work the process and seem to take a lot of time and waste a lot of money.  If you do not want to have a resolution in mediation (which you should not openly state to avoid being accused of sabotaging the process), the choice of a mediator may not really matter.

                The mediator must be a court approved mediator. The list of mediators can be found at http://www.utcourts.gov/mediation/provider/current_roster.html.  You will want to know the following from your mediator:

·         How much per hour?

·         Where will the mediation take place?

·         What is the success rate for resolving cases?

·         What is their specific process?

                Just a reminder that you do not have to settle in mediation.  When it is all said and done, the mediator simply files a notice with the Court stating either that no agreement was reached, a partial agreement was reached, or that a full agreement was reached.  You and your spouse are responsible for preparing and filing any agreement that you reach.

For more information contact Attorney Drew at andrew@gillilandlaw.com