How to Divorce -- Common Questions

             Most people going through a divorce have the same fears and questions.  They also hold beliefs about the legal process in a divorce or about the behavior of the people involved that are not accurate.  These beliefs are often called myths or urban legends. Some common questions are:  Am I Going to Win?
How Long Will It Take? How Much Will It Cost?

            It has been said that no one wins in a divorce case.  The attorney's goal is to raise all issues structured to your case to your advantage, and make sure you “lose” as little as possible.  However, if your intent is to punish your spouse or win by way of an all-out, no-holds-barred victory, your goal is probably unattainable in a divorce context especially if there are children involved.  While it is always difficult to estimate how long your divorce will take, the following factors are relevant measures of the time necessary to complete the divorce:  

The complexity of the contested issues;

The intensity of feelings between the parties and whether there is an inclination to settle;

The attitude and tenacity of your spouse; and

The tenacity and desire for litigation of the lawyer of your spouse.

Through experience, the factor that is most relevant tends to be the intensity of the feelings between the parties and how much they want to fight.

            It is often difficult to estimate the total fee even when the attorney knows what issues are contested, the intensity of the parties’ feelings, and the complexity of the issues.  In uncontested matters, you should be told upfront what the fee will be.  For contested matters, you should consider the hourly rate of the attorney and set aside the funds to last through the case.   Unfortunately, attorneys are often motivated by the paying clients rather than non-paying clients.  There are other costs to consider as well. 

 TIME.  You will have to spend your time to prepare your lawsuit in conjunction with your attorney.          You should always balance the time you will spend, the stress, and the costs to determine whether certain issues are worth litigation.

STRESS.  Going through a divorce is one of the most painful experiences you can have.  

COSTS.  If your funds are limited, you should always consult with your attorney on what issues can be settled.