What does winning a divorce mean?

Can you really win a divorce?  This all depends on your definition of "winning".  On financial matters and the division of personal property there can definitely be victories if those are your only issues.  If there are children, however, those victories can lose the war if one spouse become bitter over losing personal items or paying more money.  This bitterness can creep into how the parents deal with each other post-divorce and their attitudes in front of the children.  Thus, you can win the battle but lose the war.  Of course, you must stand up for what you want and believe you are entitled to.  That goes without saying.  It is when you fail to compromise at all and positions become hardened and litigious that the whole process could be a colossal failure for your children.  You simply got to find the right balance while protecting your rights.